


The City of Lights

by princesskay



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Time, femmeslash, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 11:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1224202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesskay/pseuds/princesskay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Ian Doyle's attack on Emily, it's JJ"s job to escort Emily to Paris, and then out of the team's life. . . but it's not that easy to let go. . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	The City of Lights

JJ sat in the chair for several long seconds after Emily rose and walked down the sidewalk, across the street and out of sight. Her heart pounded with something akin to fear. She wasn't worried about Doyle – no, the team would catch him – but she was fearful of the future. Never seeing Emily again. Never hearing her voice, feeling her touch, or share a moment of understanding silence on the jet again. She could already feel a part of herself being whisked away with the woman striding confidently down the lanes of Paris.   
In the beginning, she hadn't believed that it would be so hard. Emily would be safe in another country, far away from Doyle, with enough money to last her until this was resolved, and beyond. She kept telling herself that eventually, Emily would return to the team, and she would not be lost for forever. They would catch Doyle and things would go back to normal. But, the cold fear gripping her heart made her question the faith she had in happy endings. Her foundation was crumbling beneath her feet as her friend walked away from her, down a strange street, in and unknown, new country, alone, possibly frightened, irreparably damaged. . . .And the only thing JJ could give her was money. When had wealth meant a thing to their relationship. . . or to any relationship in their close-knit team, for that matter? When had safety been an issue? They had always stood by each other, no matter the danger or cost. When had knowing that the other was safe mean a thing, if they couldn't be there to make for damn certain?   
God, it just wasn't right! She didn't know if she could handle this. She didn't know if she could get a grip on what was happening. It had always been hard for her to say goodbye to someone she dearly loved, ever since her sister had committed suicide, but this was worse. It was as if Ian Doyle had truly killed Emily Prentiss when he drove the stake into her stomach. As if she hadn't lived. As if her words to the team had been ture. She never made it off the table. Had Emily Prentiss never made it off the table? Was that a different woman she had just spoken to? Had they truly laid to rest the strength, spirit, and body of a woman they had all loved fiercely? Was the last time she had ever seen Emily alive was when she had said goodbye on JJ's last day at the BAU?   
Suddenly, all the doubts and fears came crashing down on the petite, blond woman sitting in the Paris shop. The city seemed huge around her, filled with only more, inescapable fears. Suddenly, she just had to go running after her friend. She couldn't leave her like this. She couldn't leave her with only a packet of money and false identities as a reminder of herself. She couldn't!  
JJ rose from the chair, spinning around, tears clouding her vision. She searched the streets, wondering if it was too late. Breathing hard, and shaking inside and out with fear and pain, she started down the sidewalk, her eyes frantically scanning up and down the street. She started out slow, her steps faltering, her balance clumsy. At last, she found her footing and began to jog down the street, searching, searching desperately, the tears streaking down her cheeks. Ignoring the stares of the others on the sidewalk, she rushed past them, past their groups, past their couples, past the shops with their glass windows and displays, her mind set on one goal. Set on finding her friend before it was too late.   
She reached the end of the street, and turned a corner, rising on her toes to look above the pedestrians. Did she see the crown of Emily's head, the beige trench coat draped around her shoulders? Hope sprang anew inside of her and she took off at a run, struggling to keep her balance in her high heels. She barely paused to apologize to a man she ran in to, her eyes glued on the back of Emily's head. If she just kept her in sight, she could catch up! She could!  
Her face wet with tears, her body shaking, her mind racing with desperate, frantic thoughts, she pushed through the crowd, whispering, “Emily. . . Emily, wait!” Her throat felt blocked with the tears, and she forced herself to speak louder, “Emily!” Her voice rose above the crowd. “Emily, please wait!”   
The woman in the trench coat paused, a frown crossing her brow. She turned, her dark eyes sweeping down the street. JJ held up her hand, waving to get her attention. “Emily!” She called, nearly tripping when her heel caught in a crack on the sidewalk. “Emily, wait!”   
Emily turned completely, her eyes locking with JJ's. They were wide and wet, her full lips parted. She lifted a hand, almost as if to push JJ away. But, a moment later, her defiance fell and she began to shoulder her way in the opposite direction of the crowd, making her way back towards JJ.   
Relief warmed JJ's blood, a smile breaking through despite the tears dampening her cheeks. She held out her hands, grabbing Emily's the moment she reached her. She pulled her friend into her arms, clinging tightly to her, her face pressed against her neck, the smell of Emily's perfume swamping her senses.   
“JJ,” Emily whispered, her arms holding her tightly. “What are you doing?”   
“I couldn't. . .” JJ replied, between grateful sobs, “I couldn't leave you. . . Not like this.”   
“Like this?” Emily pulled back to look into her eyes, “You have done everything you could.”   
JJ shook her head, “I've done everything an agent could. I've done everything my position with the Department of Defense could allow me to. . . I haven't done everything a friend could. I can't just leave you with money and fake ID's. . . That's professional. . . That's not me.” She blinked back the tears, refusing to uncurl her fingers from Emily's coat.   
“What else do you think you can do?” Emily lifted her hand to brush away the tears remaining on her face. “The last thing I want. . .I can't have. . . .You. The team. . . Its impossible.”   
“No. . .” JJ stepped closer to her, her heart pounding as she realized she had been wanting to say this before she had chased after Emily. She hadn't acknowledged it until now. “That's not entirely true.”   
Emily frowned, shaking her head. “JJ, I know you think you can fix everything, but this is beyond your abilities, no matter how amazing they might-”   
“No.” JJ said, more firmly. “You can have me. . .”   
“JJ, I-”   
“You can have me. . . At least for tonight.”   
They were silent, staring into each other's eyes, processing what JJ had just suggested. JJ took in her staggering beauty, wondering why she had never done this before, hoping fervently that Emily wouldn't say no.  
Emily returned the gaze, her eyes skating over JJ's face, her wide blue eyes, her heart-shaped lips, her long, blond hair. Her. The woman she had always loved. . . as a friend. The woman who had been her friend for years, stood by her, listened to her, laughed with her, cried with her. . . She was about to say goodbye to world as she knew it, and she was considering saying no? No, she couldn't do that. She loved JJ, maybe in more ways she had realized. If this was the last thing she ever did with her, it should be this. There were no regulations. Neither of them were technically part of the Bureau anymore. No one would ever know, and perhaps they would find relief in this.   
Emily dropped her hand to clasp JJ's, “I was going to check out of my hotel room, but. . .” She almost choked over the words, feeling tears fill her eyes as relief flooded JJ's expression. She turned quickly, hoping the other woman wouldn't see the moisture building in her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was fall apart in front of JJ when they were about to have the most memorable night of any night they had shared, in the City of Lights. 

BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU 

Moments after they entered the hotel room, JJ felt herself become nervous. Her palms felt sweaty, her heart beating her mercilessly. She closed her eyes, pulling in a deep breath. This was her desire, her suggestion. She had to go through with it. She wanted to go through with it. . . .It was just that she had never had sex with a woman before, much less one of her best friends. If Emily came back, how would this affect their relationship? How would this-  
“Relax.” She felt Emily's hand on her shoulder. “We don't have to-”   
“No.” JJ held up her hand. “I want to. . . .I need you.”   
Emily slid her hands around her waist, lowering her mouth to kiss her shoulder. “I'm glad you came after me.” She lifted her free hand to remove to the pins and clips that held JJ's hair gathered at the back of her hand. The long, loose curls tumbled down her shoulders and back, and Emily sank her fingers into it, pushing it to one side. JJ felt a shudder race through her body as Emily's lips slowly kissed her shoulder and then her throat. The room suddenly felt ten times hotter, her blood pounding through her veins, her skin flashing hot, her center suddenly wet with need. She bit down her lip, holding back a groan.   
Emily leaned back, smoothing JJ's hair over her shoulder. She slid the zipper of her dress down, the sound of it opening loud in the silence of the room. The dress parted slowly, until she felt the air wash over her entire back. She closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath as Emily slid it from her shoulders and down her arms, letting it fall down her body, to the floor. She stepped forward, out of the dress, nudging her shoes off her feet. She held her eyes closed, wondering if she opened them, that this would all disappear. What if this was dream?   
She heard a rustle of clothes, and then, Emily's voice softly whispered to her, “Open your eyes.”   
She pried them open, finding that she was looking straight into the depths of Emily's black eyes, surrounding by a fringe of long, curved lashes, that she had always found herself fascinated by. Her eyelashes weren't that long; it was kind of unfair. . . .She gave herself a mental kick. Focus. . . Eyelashes – that's the stupidest thing to think of when your about to have sex with one of your best friends. Come on, JJ.   
“Take my hand.” Emily said, holding out her hand.   
JJ gratefully took it, wrapping her fingers around Emily's hand. Emily gave her an encouraging nod and led her to the bed sitting in the middle of the room. Her gaze slid down Emily's body, now clothed only in her lingerie. She had a nice body. Long, perfect legs, slim waist, full breasts. JJ suddenly found herself even more ravenous than before. The nervousness was eaten up by the need coursing through her body, the desire spreading like poison through her body. Her legs suddenly felt weak beneath her as they neared the bed, her core swelling with pangs of desire.   
Emily led her to the edge of the bed. Smoothing back a strand of hair from JJ's ear, she leaned in and whispered, “Sit on the bed and undress.”   
JJ sank to the bed, partly because Emily told her to, and partly because her legs buckled beneath her. With quivering hands, she reached behind her body and unhooked her bra. She discarded it, feeling Emily's eyes on her. She paused for a moment, before she tugged her panties down sliding them from her legs, and kicking them away. She lifted her eyes to Emily's, noticing the fire burning in the other woman's eyes, at the sight of her naked body. She drew in a breath, causing her breasts to rise, straining against her bra. JJ's eyes followed the curve of her breasts, the desire to hold them almost too much. She forced herself to remain pinned to the bed, her mind scattered with thoughts of Emily, the ones that had plagued her earlier, now fleeing to the back.   
Emily pulled herself out of her reverie, sliding to her knees on the floor in front of JJ. Placing her hands on JJ's knees, she said, quietly, “Do you trust me?”   
JJ nodded, “I always will.”   
A smile hinted at her lips, “Is this really what you want?”   
She nodded, once more, “I'm yours.”   
A sad look crossed Emily's face, “Sometimes it sucks that you're so loyal, Jaje.” She stroked her thumbs over JJ's knees, “I know I'll regret this, because you'll never forget it. Then you'll be sad and-”   
“Please, Emily.” JJ covered Emily's hands with hers, desperation beginning to claw at her mind. “I want you. . . I love you, and I want to make you happy. . .At least for tonight. You deserve it.”   
Emily looked away for a second, but when her gaze returned, JJ saw the same woman she had always known. Emily Prentiss had arisen from the dead, and the fire in her eyes was more alive than she had ever seen. And she knew what that fire was burning for. It was burning for her, because she was going to be the first one in a long time that truly made Emily happy. And that only made her want her more.   
“Kiss me.” Emily requested softly.   
JJ didn't hesitate to lean down, her hand cupping Emily's cheek, her hips coming to rest softly over hers. Their mouths parted to join in a tender, yet passionate embrace, their lips caressing for several long seconds. JJ cautiously slid her tongue forward, her need to taste Emily further growing stronger. But, Emily pulled back, a soft smile on her lips, a twinkle in her eyes, “Save your strength for later.” She murmured. “Now. . . spread your legs.”   
Anticipation tore through her, arousal dripping from her center, her heart thudding. She swallowed hard, parting her knees wide. Emily's lips slid down her cheek and throat, whispering, “Good.” Her one hand skimmed over JJ's back, stroking the soft flesh until her hand came around to cup one breast. The opposite hand moved down to cover her hot, damp mound.   
JJ sucked in a deep breath, the sensations penetrating all other thoughts, sucking her into a pool of desire so deep, she thought she might drown in it. Emily began to stroke her fingers over her feminine lips, making her fingers wet with the arousal flowing from JJ. Her fingertips were bold, providing enough pressure to only sate a small amount of JJ's need. She squirmed, one hand sliding into Emily's hair, the other holding onto her shoulder, her jaw clenched tightly. Emily's hand swirled expertly over the bud of her desire, causing the flesh to swell and ache even further. JJ's legs parted farther, her hips shifting against Emily's hand. A soft groan left her mouth as Emily gently pushed a finger between her feminine lips, sheathing it in her constricting tunnel. It was the most amazing feeling; in that moment, JJ didn't regret going after Emily as she might have guessed she would. She had never done anything like this before – it was after all, something a bad girl like Emily would do – but she didn't have an ounce of remorse for stepping out of her comfort zone. All she felt was a deep-seated desire, stemming from long-pent up need that she had never allowed herself to recognize.   
Emily's hand had established a firm rhythm now, a second finger sinking in next to the first. They moved together, probing deeply, touching every part of her, drawing expressions of love from her mouth. JJ's palm felt sweaty around the hank of dark hair she held in her grasp, her entire body alive and singing with the pleasure that Emily was bringing her. Her back arched as Emily's fingertips reached her clitoris, rubbing gently at first over the quivering nub of a flesh. Moments later her touch became stronger, pleasuring the sensative flesh until JJ cried out, her fingernails sinking into Emily's shoulder.   
“Shh, baby.” Emily's voice was soft, her lips pressed at the pounding pulse at JJ's throat. A shudder ripped through JJ's body when she heard Emily's voice calling her baby. It was the first time she had ever heard those words directed at her, and it only caused the desire to magnify within her.   
Emily's fingers slowed, and she gently liberated them from JJ's body. JJ's eyes swung to Emily, the disappointment overwhelming. But, before she could have a chance to protest the premature withdrawal, Emily murmured to her in a sultry tone, “Lay back.”   
JJ's heart thudded loudly in her chest, her lungs robbed of oxygen as she slid back on weak arms. Her body collapsed on the bed, her long, golden locks spread out on the pillow. She let her eyes skim down her body to Emily, who had crawled onto the bed after her. She slid between JJ's legs, her hands taking her knees. She pushed JJ's legs apart, lowering her mouth to JJ's flat, smooth stomach. She pressed her lips against the silky flesh, kissing downward until she reached the swollen, damp flesh she had recently been pleasuring with her hand. JJ's body went stiff, her hands grasping at the sheets when she felt Emily's warm breath wash over the tender flesh. A moan rose from her throat, her back curving as Emily's lips kissed her and then parted to receive the wet folds of flesh. The moan lengthened, growing louder as Emily suckled the flesh, drawing in JJ's taste, making satisfied noises. The sensations tore through JJ's body, almost more than she could handle. Her mind and heart raced, all other thoughts destroyed in the wake of desire's burning path. All she could feel was Emily's mouth tasting her, and the need that coursed through her, an unrelenting wildfire. She couldn't think of anything else now – she wanted this. . . She needed this!  
Emily's mouth released the sensitive flesh, her mouth nuzzling for a moment. And then, JJ felt her tongue slither out, parting the slick folds that she had just moments ago, held captive in her mouth. JJ's body shuddered, enveloped in a blanket of heat, as Emily's tongue slid into her. Her mouth was jarred open, a cry breaching her lips of its own accord. Her fingers curled tightly around the satin of the sheets, her knuckles bleaching white with the intensity of her grip.   
Emily's moan of delight mingled with JJ's cry of pleasure as she thrust her tongue deep into the hot sheath of JJ's body. Her tongue moved with fast and deadly pleasure, pushing JJ quickly towards completion. Emily seemed to touch every part of her, her tongue dancing in and out, drawing long, low moans from JJ's lips. With each thrust of her tongue, the motion increased and the pleasure multiplied. JJ couldn't suppress the the cries of ecstasy that spilled from her lips with each moment that passed. The pleasure was like nothing she had ever experienced. New, fresh, and amazing. . .Completely Emily. She wanted to stay like this for as long as she could. Just forget the anxieties and fears that Doyle had brought upon them. Forget that all of it ever happened. She wanted to make love with Emily for the rest of the night, for as long as the Paris stars shone. . . for as long as this delusion could last.   
The sensations tripled in just a few moments; she wasn't going to last long. She could feel the fingers of the orgasm slowly beginning to gain a hold on her. Each nerve-ending began to tingle with the pleasure, the tremors beginning deep in her core. Emily's tongue stroked long and bold, the tip finding her clitoris just as the muscles began to tighten. She traced the bud of flesh with her tongue, circling and then pressing.   
The pleasure seemed to explode within JJ, her muscles spasming uncontrollably. Her body writhed on the bed, her fingers gripping the bedspread, her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth open in a long cry of passion. Emily held her as the orgasm ran its course, her tongue deep inside, receiving the flooding of wetness that rushed from JJ as the pleasure swept through her.   
It seemed to last too short. All to soon, JJ was lying still on the bed, staring at the ceiling, her body drenched in sweat, still tingling from the aftermath of the climax. She breathed hard, her mind trying to get around what had just happened. It all seemed to come together like a puzzle – It didn't matter of Emily was a woman. It didn't matter if she had always been her friend. It didn't matter if she might never see her again. She was in love with Emily Prentiss and nothing else seemed to matter except what they had just shared. She couldn't find it within herself to regret her decision. All she wanted was to love Emily until all her hurt disappeared.   
JJ felt the bed shift and Emily came up next to her, a ghost of a smile on her moist lips. She slid her palm over JJ's cheek, lowering her mouth. Their lips met, softly at first, and then more passionate. JJ lifted her hand to slid it around Emily's slim waist. She pulled the other woman tightly against her, not willing to loosen the embrace for quite awhile. She parted her lips, as Emily's tongue invaded, leaving a hint of JJ's own musky taste in her mouth. JJ lifted her tongue to Emily's, letting them dance together, joining and stroking, until all that filled the silence was their heavy breathing and the sounds of their mouth's meeting.   
As the kiss lengthened, JJ followed the curve of Emily's spine with her fingertips until she reached the clasp of the bra she was wearing. She tugged it open, causing the bra to fall down Emily's arms. Emily took it off her arms, pushing it away the bothersome barrier. Her full breasts fell free, her nipples jutting and pink in the dim light of the moon. JJ brought her hand to one, remembering her desire to touch them. Their lips parted and Emily's dark eyes met hers. She gave JJ a nod as JJ's hand hovered hesitantly over the round mound of flesh. JJ let her hand settle over it, feeling the nipple pressing against her palm. She squeezed tighter, kneading the flesh. Emily drew in a deep breath, her eyes drifting closed. They slowly switched positions, Emily lying on her back and JJ pushing herself up into a sitting position. She slid one leg over Emily's body, straddling her. Leaning over, JJ brought her mouth to one distended nipple. She pressed her lips over the orb of flesh, her fingertips taking the other. She moistened the tender flesh with her tongue, feeling Emily shake beneath her. The response bolstered her courage, and she parted her lips, drawing the taut nipple into her mouth. As she slowly suckled one breast, she pinched at the other nipple, teasing it to erection. The flesh hardened beneath her touch, and Emily gave a soft groan.   
“Oh God, JJ. . .” She whispered, one hand rising to hold JJ behind the head.   
JJ's center swirled with desire in response to Emily's expression of pleasure. She closed her eyes, sucking softly but firmly, drawing in the taste of Emily's smooth flesh. She kept the other nipple in her grip, sucking and pinching, drawing moans from Emily. Her body squirmed beneath JJ, her full lips parted, her pale cheeks flushed with the heat of passion. JJ bobbed her head, and twisted her hand taking the tender flesh with her, fascinated by her ability to manipulate the supple mounds.   
“JJ. . .God, please. . .” Emily groaned, her hand rising to bury her fingers in JJ's long, blond hair. Her back arched, her plead ending in a cry as JJ released one breast from her mouth in order to take the other. The moment her mouth was around the fresh skin, she clamped her teeth down, drawing the intense reaction from Emily. The nipple was firm and jutting in her mouth, the flesh silky soft causing the desire to skyrocket through JJ. She suckled hard, her own groans muffled around Emily's body. Emily writhed under her, her groans stringing along in incoherent cries of pleasure. She managed JJ's name in several times, her hips rising each time, pressing her smooth flesh against JJ's wet, feminine lips. The pleasure was binding, almost too much for JJ to continue.   
“JJ, please. . .please. . .” Emily panted as JJ released her.   
“What?” JJ looked into her lover's dark eyes, glazed with desire. “What do you want?”   
Emily swallowed, her tongue rimming her lips, “Please. . .I-I want. . .” She faltered, her chest rising sharply with a long breath. “I want you to. . .”   
“Shh, its okay.” JJ stroked Emily's damp bangs away from her perspiring forehead. “I'm gonna take care of you.”   
Emily's breathing slowed as the claim reached her ears. She slid her hand from JJ's hair to her cheek, lifting her lips to JJ's. As their lips met, JJ didn't think about after this. She didn't think about the pain of never seeing Emily again after such intimate interaction. She didn't want to think about how she might miss her even more because of this. . .She just thought about them. . .together. . .as lovers. . .She wanted to think of Emily happy, alive and passionate. . .She wanted to remember the taste of her lips, the touch of her hands, the sound of her voice. . .She wanted to keep this memory as long as she lived.   
They kissed more deeply this time, their lips stroking softly at first and then more passionately until their lips parted, tongues meeting. Emily's sweet taste filled JJ's mouth, and she plunged her tongue deeper, stroking Emily's palate. Emily's tongue slid beneath hers, sucking JJ's tongue into her mouth, moaning as the tip of JJ's tongue traced her mouth. Their tongues tangled and Emily's wrestled to the top, slithering deep into JJ's mouth to return the favor. JJ groaned, her fingers sinking into Emily's hair, holding her face tight against hers as they kissed, long and deep.   
At last, Emily's lips parted from hers. Her eyes were half-lidded and coal black with desire as she whispered, “Touch me, JJ. . . That's what I want. . . .Make me come with your hand.”   
JJ's heart fluttered with the request, the desire spiraling low in her stomach. She found herself nodding in agreement, her want speaking for her even as she remained silent. She moved off of Emily, taking a hold of her legs and pushing them up until they were bent at the knee, “Spread your legs. . . wide.” JJ instructed, her voice barely above a whisper.   
Emily obeyed, parting her knees, giving JJ full access to her fully-aroused center. Breathing hard, the desire throbbing through her body, JJ moved between Emily's legs, dropping her hand to her damp mound. The flesh was enticingly hot and slick beneath her touch, creating a shudder that rippled down JJ's spine. She pulled in a deep breath, closing her eyes as she pressed her fingers down, stroking the tender flesh. Emily's eyes slammed shut, her brow furrowing as JJ, with a few soft strokes, parted her soaked folds. She touched Emily deeper, finding her tight entrance.   
“Oh my God, JJ!” Emily moaned loudly, her body rising from the bed. Her eyes opened, wide and pleasure-ridden, to look at JJ. Her perfect mouth remained open, cries flowing freely from them as JJ pushed a finger in to her inflamed channel. The tight, hot sheath of Emily's body sucked JJ's finger in, drawing JJ's own response. She leaned forward, resting her head on Emily's chest as she began to push her finger in and out. She closed her eyes, her hand moving with the rhythm of Emily's rapidly pounding heart, quickly finding that one digit was not enough. She pushed in a second, letting the two probe deeply together. Emily arched against her, crying out, “JJ, oh God. . .Oh God, right there!   
Don't . . . don't stop. . .Yes. . .Oh, God, yes!”   
The words tumbled from her mouth repeatedly as JJ swirled her fingers first around her clitoris and then landed pressure on the quivering bud of flesh. Emily's body shook beneath her, her body going tight around JJ's inserted fingers. JJ pulled her hand back, wanting to make it last longer.   
“Oh God. . .” Emily moaned, squeezing her eyes shut, her brow furrowed. “Please, don't stop. . .please!”   
JJ quickly delved her fingers back in, unable to resist Emily's tortured pleading. She sank a third in next to the first two, causing Emily's hips to rise. She clutched the sheets, her full breasts heaving with her heavy breaths, both nipples flushed and erect with the pleasure JJ was bringing her. JJ kept her fingers moving, but her mouth was drawn back to Emily's round, firm breasts. She drew one distended nipple into her mouth, sucking with satisfaction as her fingers pushed in deep.   
“JJ, oh God. . .JJ!” Emily's cries rose louder, her voice hoarse from her exclamations. She panted, circling her hips hard against JJ's hand, her body jerking as JJ's fingertips touched her erotically. JJ pushed her body down on Emily's holding her to the bed as she moved her hand faster and teased her nipples with gentle nips and licks. She didn't stop again or slow at all until she felt Emily's body responding, her body going tight, the spasms beginning. . . And then Emily's cry of ecstacy reached her ear, her face twisted with pleasure as the orgasm claimed her. Her body bucked against JJ her fingers tight around the sheets, wetness rushing over JJ's fingers. Although JJ wasn't on the receiving end of the pleasure, she felt as if she was experiencing some of it. She saw Emily in pleasure, not pain, and for now, that was enough.   
As it faded, JJ liberated her fingers, laying down on the bed beside Emily. They were silent for several long minutes, their breathing slowing, their eyes fastened to the ceiling.   
Finally, Emily said, “Thank you. . . For everything.”   
“It was the least I could do.”   
“You couldn't have done anything better.”   
JJ paused, not replying as Emily's words sank in, their actions even more prominent in her mind. . . But she couldn't find it within herself to regret making love with Emily. . .That was what she had wanted, wasn't it? To love Emily and make her happy? . . .It was accomplished and all she could feel was satisfaction.   
“You should probably go.” Emily said, her voice quieter and melancholy.   
“I know. . .Hotch is picking me up at the airport. . .” She said, her voice fading. The last thing she wanted to do was leave. She wanted to stay here with Emily in the City of Lights. She wanted to be with her and love her for as long as she could. . .The night was far from over and she didn't want to waste that time.   
“Maybe we can do it one more time. . .” Emily said, her words telling JJ that she didn't want her to leave, too. “It won't matter if you're a few minutes late. . .Will it?”   
JJ turned her head to look at Emily. Her big, dark eyes were hopeful, almost like that of a little child's. JJ didn't want to say no – not only because of her own feelings, but because of Emily's. She couldn't imagine having to leave behind everything and everyone you had ever known to escape a madman. She didn't know if she could be as strong as Emily was.   
“You know what,” JJ said, sitting up. “I'm gonna text him and tell him not to come until morning.”   
“You don't have to do that.” Emily objected, pushing herself up into a sitting postion.   
“I want to.” JJ said, meeting Emily's eye.   
Emily didn't argue. She was silent as JJ retrieved her phone and typed a quick message to Hotch. He replied almost immediately: Why? R u OK?  
She hesitated, then responded: Yes. I just need 2 take care of some things.   
She was relieved when he didn't argue: I'll b there in the a.m.  
She set her phone down, and Emily lifted her eyes expectantly. JJ slid across the bed and pulled Emily into her arms, bringing her lips to hers. They kissed softly for a moment before JJ murmured to her, “I'm not leaving you tonight.” 

BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU ^ BAU

She smelled pastries and sultry summer air. . . She smelled the lingering scent of familiar perfume and detergent. . . JJ opened her eyes to find that she was lying on her stomach, her face pressed into the pillow of the hotel in Paris. She looked around the room, slowly, not wanting to face reality.   
Emily's clothes were gone. . . Her presence was gone.  
No!. . .I have to say goodbye! JJ sat up quickly, her hair falling over her face, wild and uncombed. She looked around frantically, her eyes wide and tearful. . . .But, the other side of the bed was empty. . . In her place was a letter written in bold, black ink. JJ caught sight of Emily's name at the end. . .and hers at the beginning.   
With a trembling hand, she reached over and took the slip of paper. She could hear her friend's voice speaking as she read:

JJ, I'm sorry I left you so soon, and I'm sorry I couldn't have a better explanation for leaving without saying goodbye. I just didn't think I would be able to. I know I have appeared strong throughout all of this, but inside I am just as scared as the rest of you. I think that if I tried to say goodbye I would never be able to leave. I never trusted many people until I came onto this team, and out of all of them, I think I trust you the most. Maybe it is because you are another woman and understand me better, I don't know. But know, I never would have done what I did last night with anyone but you. I know I will be forever linked to you because of it, but I don't think either of us regret it.   
I just want you to know everything. I want you to know what I think and how I feel about last night. First of all, I want to thank you again. Those two words don't seem enough but it is all I have to offer. I thought the last memory I had with you would be saying goodbye and walking away. But you wouldn't let that happen. You came after me and we made the best memory I have had in a long time. I don't want to say that I didn't enjoy the sex, because I did. But more than that I loved you. Not just your body or you face, but you. Just you. Your voice, your manner. . . . Everything about you. You made me feel whole again, and that is something that I never thought would happen. The void may return while I am gone, but for now I am satisfied with all you did for me.   
I want you to know that I have always loved you. Not just as a lover, like last night. You are a kindred spirit to me, and you have always understood me in ways that still blow my mind. I could never give back to you all that you have given to me. You are the most gentle, caring, giving and all-around amazing person I have ever had the joy of being friends with. I know you might think being like that is bad for the job we do at times. But, you're wrong. Protect your purity, protect your gentility, protect your empathy – they are the most important qualities you have. I may be broken and soiled, but you are still clean and beautiful despite everything you have seen. Don't let yourself become like me, regretting so many decisions in your life. It is difficult for me to count on one hand how many mistakes I have made. Don't let yours exceed that.   
I want you to know that I will never forget you. Not just you, but all of the team. The BAU, the times we shared. I really enjoyed working with all of you. It was more than I could have asked for. We had our struggles and our rough times, but we were always there for each other. We loved each other to the point of hurting, and sometimes when the hurt passed, we learned to love each other even more. I never thought I would bond with any group of people the way I bonded with our team. Thank you for all those years that we had together, all those memories, all those things that I will never forget. I will always keep you in my heart and cherish the happy times we had. . .Please, raise a glass to those times once in awhile. I know I will. I know its horrible to say, but those are all we have left of each other.   
I want you to know the truth about my relationship to Ian Doyle. I have never confessed to anyone, but here it is: I did sleep with him, but not just because of the profile. It was my job to get into his head and get close to him, but I ended up doing more than that. I loved him. I hate to say it, but I had feelings – strong feelings – for him. I know he was a criminal, but I couldn't stop myself. I don't know when it went so far. . .I'm sorry I couldn't do more for Declan. I'll be looking after him, I'll be protecting him from Ian for as long as I live. He may be his son and Ian may love him, but I can't let Declan end up like him.  
I might not be in Paris forever. So, whenever you get a chance, look up at the moon and remember me. We all see the same moon, JJ. I'll be looking for you, too. Just remember, I will always love and care for you, and nothing can ever take away what we had last night and the memories we made. It was truly amazing, and I don't think I will ever experience anything like it ever again.   
Remember to love your family, love the team, protect those in need, and fight for justice. . . And please, always look to the sky on a clear night. Love, Emily the end


End file.
